How Gender Differences in Emotional Cutoff and Reactivity Influence Couple’s Sexual and Relational Outcomes

We evaluated gender differences in differentiation of self, specifically addressing aspects of emotional cutoff (EC) and emotional reactivity (ER), and their association with relational and sexual satisfaction and sexual desire. Midlife U.S. men and women (N = 334 married heterosexual couples; 50% female; 85% Caucasian, mean age 47.4 years) completed online surveys. Men reported higher levels of EC compared to women after accounting for control variables—a medium effect (Cohen's d =.48) which negatively predicted their own relationship and sexual satisfaction as well as partner relationship satisfaction. Women’s EC was also negatively associated with their own relationship satisfaction. Women reported higher levels of ER compared to men after accounting for control variables—a small effect (Cohen's d =.18). No associations with ER and outcome variables were found and no other partner effects were found. For couples in which the woman was higher on ER, the association between women's T1 emotional reactivity and men's T2 sexual desire was positive and significant (B =.31, p <.05). These findings underscore the influence of emotional cutoff on relationship satisfaction and sexual desire and the importance of staying engaged even through relational conflict.